Introduction

Last night, I had to say goodbye to a friend.

This was not the first time I've had to do this. I have had friends pass away for various reasons. Family members as well. As far as I'm concerned there is only one constant in life, and that's death (sorry, Benjamin Franklin, but kids don't pay taxes). Having to say goodbye to anybody in your life, no matter how close you were, will never be easy. For me, this was the second time a friend of mine had taken their own life, and both times it hit me as a huge shock followed by some of the most profound sadness I've ever felt.

I blogged about my friend Sarah here, over a year ago, and I recall one of the biggest emotions I felt while writing that piece was regret. Regret that I never got to tell Sarah about many of the feelings of love and respect I had for her. So when I heard about my friend Adam taking his life last week, I had similar feelings. I couldn't help being upset at myself for not telling him how much I love him, and how I look up to him, and respect him, and strive to be half the man he is, before it was too late. The memorial service for Adam was filled with so many conflicting feelings but the one constant throughout was that of love. Love for Adam and all the missed opportunities I had to get to know him better, to hang out with him and watch Home Movies (not actual home movies, I mean the TV show), to jam with him, to laugh with him. Love for his family and close friends who were grieving and celebrating his life. Love for myself, something I've struggled with for most of my life. Love for my own family and friends that hugged me or gave me words of kindness during this difficult time.

This week was hard for me, and I know it was equally or more hard for many of my close friends. I began to think about this regret I felt, and made a decision to never feel that regret again. I am not going to shy away from my love for my friends and family. I'm not going to hold back when it comes to expressing how I feel. And I don't want to wait for another friend to leave me before I am sure to tell them exactly how much I care for them.

So I decided to start this blog. Blogs are generally made to reach a wide audience, but this will be different. It will remain public, to encourage others to join in on sharing love for others. But each post will be aimed at one person. One individual that I feel I need to express my love for. One friend.

Everybody deserves to be happy, and know that they are loved. No matter what, you are NEVER alone. And I want everyone I love to know that no matter what, I'm always here for you. I love you.